Chapter Four - The Broken Body of Our Education System - Teach me, or Teach Me Not
Posted on | May 2, 2004 |
The third injury warranting immediate medical attention is the backbone of the education system, the teachers. Now before you go all NEA on me, let me say that it isn’t all teachers, just like it isn’t all bus drivers or the entire lunch room staff, but it isn’t just a few anymore either. There’s a lot teachers with problems these days, and you know who you are.
First of all, as a parent, let me get this out of the way. Teachers: Don’t ever, under any circumstance, give me homework. I’ve been to school, have a diploma, have a degree, and have my own work to do. I make more money than any two of you. I don’t ever want to come home again to an assignment given to one of my kids that says, “have your parent do…†whatever! If you’re going to grade my kids based on my performance, then I’m going to start paying you based on my kids’ performance.
Furthermore, if you’re going to give my kids homework, then teach them how to do it. I understand that sometimes homework is given to reinforce what is learned in class, but come on! My kids get homework on an almost nightly basis that they have no idea how to do! I’m happy to help them, but you’re the one getting paid to teach them, so do it.
There are some things that I never, ever want to hear from a teacher again. First, “You’re child is probably bored in here. He already knows how to all this so he’s not learning anything.†What?! If you can’t teach him anything, find a teacher who can!
Second, “I’m sorry your child is behind, but I just don’t have time to give her the attention she needs.†Bull! We’re required by law to hand our kids over to you for an education, and you’re required by law to provide it. Either teach, or find us someone who can.
Third, “You need to talk to your legislators and tell them we need more money.†No. No. No. You want to be a lobbyist? Go to the capital and be a lobbyist. Don’t use me to lobby for you. My customers don’t call their legislators and say, “Hey, can you see what you can do about getting Island a raise?†Furthermore, don’t use my children as lobbyists. In fact, don’t use my child as a sounding board to espouse your political agendas at all. I’ll handle that part of their lives. Don’t teach them how important you think it is to have wolves in Yellowstone National Park, or how wrong you think it is to be invading a foreign country. Don’t teach them your PETA pledge or your Earth First crap. You go ahead and teach them the structure of our form of government, who does what, and how they are elected. I’ll take care of the rest of his political training.
I expect you to spend the days with which you have my children teaching them reading, writing, arithmetic, history, economics and the like. If you are unable to do this because a lack of education on your part, or because your ability to do so is clouded by some bull crap political agenda, then get another job.
Next installment? More about teachers. Sorry, but there’s just too much to cover in one episode.
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